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  • February 15, 2024
Years ago, I learned a lesson that I've never forgotten about the BE, DO, HAVE.
Have you ever stopped to think about why you don't have the things you want? Maybe you've been chasing your dreams for a very long time and your goals are elusive. You come close only to fall back time and time again?
This lesson is one I learned years ago, and I've taught many people. Still, I struggle with this very thing. I get roped by the here and now. I have not arrived and am constantly striving for this.
I say these things because what I'm about to share is one of the most profound mysteries that is so simple and yet, not quite easy. It is clear to see and difficult to implement.
Why is it difficult to implement? I'm not sure, but I'm confident (at least for me) that it comes down to my foolish pride of always having the answers. I have a need to be right. I have a need to teach others. I can come across as a know-it-all. Flattering right?
Let's break down the BE, DO, HAVE equation and see if this can help you break some chains. Isn't it chains of mediocrity that ultimately hold us back? It's that quiet status quo, don't want to rock the boat, "humble" attitude that holds us back.
First, we'll look at the obvious two. See as Bill Cosby used to teach us, "1 of these things is not like the others". Can you guess? BE is in a class of its own and is different from DO and HAVE.
We'll work backward to find clarity in this simple concept. Some of us were taught to set goals. What do you want and by when?  Now, could you work backward to fill in the steps to reach the goals? Some people are amazing at this exercise. They are focused and task-oriented. Others can set goals and fall short time and time again.
But why? What causes this shortfall if the exercise is so simple?
Identifying what we want to HAVE is not difficult. However, after years of missing the mark, it can become more difficult to set goals and clearly see what we want. We start to generalize and say things like, "Wouldn't it be nice if someday, that could happen," or "I'd sure love to have that, BUT [fill in the blank]."
Ok, so let's say we get clear on what we want to HAVE. Then the next obvious thing we say is..."What must I DO to get these things?"
This is the step that everyone wants, and the gurus sell toward. Human behavior dictates that we want steps. Fill in the blank, paint by number, instructions, etc. What do I need to DO to HAVE x, y, or z?
Example. Buy a set of shelves from your favorite box store. They come in a box with the required assembly. Great! You buy the box and take it home for assembly. You pull out the parts, the instructions, and the little tool kit that is provided and get to work. An hour later, after following the step-by-step instructions, you have a bookshelf.
There are a few things here that you may not realize happened. First, you decided to HAVE a bookshelf. Then you followed all the necessary DO steps provided for you to HAVE your bookshelf. Simple right? There is one quiet little step you may not see. You have a belief system that if you buy the thing and follow the steps, then you can get the results promised.  
The missing idea falls within the realm of BE.
The DO stage is where marketing-minded gurus get people to buy their books, seminars, and courses. They sell to the DO. Rarely do they teach the BE.  OK, you want to HAVE success in real estate investing, so what must you DO?  Did you know that less than 7% of the people who invest in real estate training DO the work to get the results?  But they keep going back looking for that DO step to solve their want.  
When they've invested thousands of dollars in the DO programs and fail to achieve their HAVE results, they bad mouth the program or coach saying the DO system did not work.  They paid for it.  The guru made promises.  A new belief is formed that says, "All gurus are scam artists and just want your money.  Don't invest.  Stop learning."  Your BE is formed from your previous experience.  
This is the part that screws everyone up. See, we are all made up of experiences in our lives from abusive upbringing to loving, nurturing homes. We went to college or didn't go to school. We played sports, excelled at academics or did well socially. Some of us were bullied while others were the popular kids. Some of us have physical limitations while others seem to have won the Gene Pool Gold Medal. Some came from families with money while others struggled to put food on the table.
All of these experiences and others lead us to deep, subconscious thoughts that drive every ACTION we take and Decision we make. Our DO is directly tied to our BE.  When we don't believe we can, even the simplest task is excruciatingly difficult for us to take action on.
I had a conversation, a few years ago, in which my colleague told me he thought the idea of mindset was rubbish. So I asked him about his upbringing and background. It turned out his parents were loving and nurturing. They were successful in their business and relationship. In turn, they taught their kids those thoughts. As far as my friend knew, everything was possible and within reach.
So I shared my backstory with him which was less flattering and led me down a path of believing that everything was possible for other people, but not people "like me". I held deep beliefs that life is hard and it is a struggle. I grew up where money was scarce and we "never" had quite enough. All of these things were stored away in my subconscious mind. All of these are the very real struggles I fight and battle to uncover and replace daily. These are the beliefs that have paralyzed me for the better part of my life.
BE is the hardest thing to change because it requires introspective thoughts into often painful subjects from our past. It requires an honest assessment of who we are at any given moment. Sadly, it is the very essence of our worldview and how we make sense to survive in this world. The good news is, we have the power to rewrite our thoughts and change our behavior as a result.
This is the stuff that makes giants. This is the stuff Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Earl Nightingale, Og Mandino, Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peal, T Harv Eker, Paul Allen, Andy Andrews, Les Brown, and so many others before and after, have taught millions of people.
When a person doesn't DO the thing that he ought to DO to achieve the thing he wants to HAVE, the answer is ALWAYS in the BE. There is no ONE way to do the thing.  In most cases with only a few exceptions.  Our BE is what makes all the difference.  If you try something one time and it fails, you may stop or you may continue.  Your path is Yours alone to decide based on YOUR BE.
To achieve your desired results, what to DO is not the question. The right question is who must I BE? What must I believe at a deep level to achieve what I've never done?  What beliefs stop me?  What beliefs propel me?  
When your beliefs align with what you want, the steps in the DO will appear. My mentor, Brian Klemmer often taught that "when your intentions are clear, the mechanisms will appear." He also taught me that "results are often harsh, and they are always TRUE." Could you trace your results back to your BE state of mind?  Another way of thinking about this is BE = Limiting/Empowering Beliefs that you hold dear.  
Your BE is your internal programing that has been developed with every experience you've had since birth.  Sadly, we often adopt other's beliefs about us when we agree with their assessment.  I had a couple of high school teachers tell me I wasn't a good writer.  I agreed and stopped writing for 18 years until someone else, whom I held in high esteem, told me I was an excellent writer.  This is powerful!  When you get it, the world will BE a better place for it. 
"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Ghandi 
Once you identify your BE, ask these questions.
  1.  Where else does this show up in my life?
  2.  What has it cost me?
  3.  How does this belief serve me?
  4.  What belief can I replace it with to serve me better?
Look, I get it. These are not quick fixes. AND the good news is that YOU are the author of YOUR thoughts. YOU are not a victim of your thoughts. You decide what thoughts to cherish and which ones are garbage. In a moment, you can completely change the direction of your life when you tap the right beliefs.
Your excuses are a good place to start. DO this today, and download the EXCUSE worksheet to help you reframe your BE as they are markers of deep-seated beliefs that are holding you back from reaching whatever goal you're trying to achieve.
Do you want to reach for financial independence?  Do you want to finish college?  Do you want to lose weight?  Maybe you're looking for a good relationship.  It doesn't matter what the HAVE outcome is you're looking for.  
Be warned. Not everyone will DO this. If you are completely happy with the results you're currently getting, then don't DO this. Skip it. You're fine. BUT, if you are like me and you have goals that you haven't quite reached, then DO this exercise.  Repeat this exercise with every goal you have. 
You may already have a level of success in whatever endeavor you choose.  Honestly, there is more that you want beyond where you are.  You have inner jealousy and some envy for something someone else has done or you have a belief that you may never have enough and need to store away more, just in case.  
I promise you will be amazed at what power YOU have in your life. You will be amazed at how much YOU have been your biggest obstacle. You will be amazed that YOU are the solution you're looking for.
After you've completed the exercise, join our private community 505REI on Facebook, for the support you may need to work through these issues. Share what you're learning and experiencing. How has this one thing changed your life?
BE, DO, HAVE is not a QUICK fix and it is not always PAIN Free. If you are willing to go there and dig deep, I promise it will be worth it.
Pretty soon, you'll have a much deeper understanding of the power of BE, DO, HAVE.
I Believe in YOU! Now it's YOUR turn!
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